Overdue Reviews is an occasional series in which I pretend to be a videogame journalist. This week: Deus Ex: Mankind Divided on PC.
My friend Ian ruined Deus Ex: Mankind Divided for me with a very small observation. And now I'm going to ruin it for you as well.
Jensen's chin, he said, is too pointy. And it is. It's like he tripped and fell into a pencil sharpener. It's like gravity only affects the bottom of his face. It's like he slept in a corner. I could go on.
This raises many questions. How much of it is chin and how much is beard? If he shaved, would his face stop immediately below his mouth or hang down like a stalactite?
I've tried to concentrate on the various plot threads and cutscenes that make up Mankind Divided's narrative, but every time Jensen turns his head the chin takes centre stage. It's distracted me the whole time I've been playing.
Is it intentional? It seems far too obvious to be an accident. If it's supposed to be like that, then why? Is it meant to make him stand out, to underline the bio-mechanical difference between him and those around him? Or is it a physical manifestation of his personality - direct and to the point?
Or will it tie into a longer and more complex plot arc? Perhaps like the rest of him, his chin can be augmented, to the point where he can actually use it as a weapon. Maybe in the face of defeat against a stronger enemy, he could use it to trip his opponent, or catch himself when falling from a great height.
Or maybe it's something more existential. His chin points towards whatever he faces, and in turn signposts his direction and purpose. Perhaps the chin is the driving force that we all need, to set our own path in an increasingly turbulent and confusing world. Jensen is showing us that facing our problems is the only way to deal with them.
Whatever the reasoning behind that chin, it's all that I can see now. It's completely stalled my progress and it's beginning to keep me up at night. A dramatic moment might be unfolding, but as soon as Jensen steps into the frame all I can see is a jawline sharp enough to open a can of tuna.
It's like he's hiding a metronome under his lower lip. It's like his face is going to a costume party as a Dorito. It's like he caught his beard on a bus that wouldn't stop. Why? Why is it so pointy?