It's a challenging time if you're a parent right now, working from home while your kids still need looking after. My colleagues have been trying to make some fun from it, by referring to their children as co-workers when talking about them on Slack.
I present some of the highlights for your enjoyment. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
- This morning my co-workers went to the toilet and unravelled all of the toilet roll and left it in the sink. Then my co-workers had a fight and threw things at each others heads - they are now in a time out.
- One of my co-workers decided to shove the other in the office, HR were involved, and a verbal warning was handed out.
- This morning, one of my co-workers worked non-stop at her laptop for well over an hour, doing busy work i.e. drawing an Easter bunny. Naked.
- This afternoon one of my co-workers has been sat in a tree reading a book.
- I had lunch with my co-workers and one of them kept picking bits out of her pizza. Then she stole my doughnut.
- One of my co-workers had a noisy poo with the door open.
- I also ate with my co-workers, one refused to stop standing on his chair when asked saying that he couldn't hear.
- My most challenging line report stole my glasses and now they're all wobbly.
- One of my co-workers loudly demanded my lunch AND THEN STARTED EATING IT from my plate.
- One of my co-workers only got dressed today after I insisted several times.
- One of my co-workers urinated on the carpet and I had to clean it up.
- I got caught eating a biscuit by both my co-workers and they demanded I hand it over. Got told off for not sharing.
- I suggested one of my co-workers might like the soup I made, and they told me they hated me and would hit my head with a sledgehammer. I couldn't help laughing, which they didn't like. Then they cried on me for a while and said they "loved me in all the ways". Then they ate all the soup.
- My youngest co-worker said all the work he had to do was too easy and he was bored. My eldest co-worker has been messing about on a computer and has just showed me a picture of a naked bum she drew in Paint.
- My co-workers are running around the building screaming.
- My co-worker is absolutely furious that I have not stopped work in order to make a cake with her.
- My co-worker screamed at me this morning because her trousers didn't have pockets.
- My co-worker has been asleep for an hour and a half and I don't mind it at all.
- My co-worker woke up very upset because they had wet themselves. They then demanded I get them dressed in clean clothes. While doing so they gleefully shouted "I"m holding my willie".
- My co-worker has just had a meltdown about his mini cheddars being "too cheesy" and the one he just ate is now finished and he wants it back.
- My co-worker joined me on a call with our remote team. He proceeded to talk over everyone and then threatened to "break through the internet and hawk punch everyone". The rest of the team took it well.
- My co-worker ended up sleeping with my husband last night.