Showing all articles matching open letters

An open letter to the people who design DVD and Blu-ray menus

Dear designer of DVD menus,

We appreciate that you'd probably like to get to the point of this letter but first we need to remind you of who wrote it and who owns the copyright. Just bear with us a moment while we show you our logo and play some music. It's a bit long winded and you've almost certainly seen it before but it's important to our brand.

Wednesday 20th of May 2015

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An open letter to the people that make CD album cases

Dear designer of CD album cases,

While I can understand that the classic plastic jewel case for a CD presents some creative limitations I need to inform you that the alternatives you have produced, notwithstanding the innovate ideas that spawned their design, should be discontinued immediately. We all understand that your client is an offbeat, self-styled indie group who feel that wrapping their CD in anything short of a masterpiece of origami in beautifully decorated cardboard would be a betrayal of their whole ethos, but they're wrong, you're wrong, and you need to go back to the classic case.

Tuesday 8th of April 2014

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An open letter to all my utility companies

Dear utility company,

Because you're such a valued utility supplier, we your customers would like to make you a special, limited time offer. For only minus the cost of a letter and/or phone call to each of your customers up to several times a year, we can offer you a fully not-annoyed by unrequested interruptions customer base, representing a possible saving of hundreds of thousands of pounds per year, depending on how much junk mail you send out and how many unsolicited phone calls you make.

Tuesday 4th of February 2014

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An open letter to project managers and account managers

Often people are required to do things they're not experienced at doing or haven't been trained to do. One of those things is software testing, which requires no knowledge or experience to do, but requires plenty of knowledge and experience to do properly.

On behalf of all software developers everywhere, I would like to say the following.

Wednesday 2nd of October 2013

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