Terms and conditions

And now for the dull stuff. These terms and conditions apply to the site (custarddoughnuts.co.uk) and any sub sites.


I wrote this site and all the stuff on it, unless otherwise stated. If you like something here, please link to it. If you're going to use something I've written, please let me know or at least acknowledge me.

Everything is provided on an 'as is' basis and I'm not responsible for anything that happens as a result of you accessing the site or using any material from it.

Website cookie policy

This website doesn't store any cookies on your computer, but if it did, they would be for entirely sensible, helpful and not at all dodgy reasons. They would in no way limit your privacy or harm your personal human rights. They wouldn't swear, shout, or make loud noise after 10pm. They would be thoughtful and considerate. Their friends would describe them as introverted and bookish. They would never plan to overthrow the government.

Our cookies would always remember mothering Sunday and take great care not to tread on snails or other defenceless creatures. They would, given the chance, collaborate to produce a short written volume of thought provoking poems on the subject of loss, and make it freely available to download in an accessible format. They would be health conscious and eat well.

Our cookies would not be the malicious kind that store data about you and then pass it on to third parties without your knowledge or consent. The very idea of that would offend them. And they would certainly not be the kind that bow to any European directives about transparency, no matter how pointless or ineffective they might be. In fact, our cookies think government should definitely have a direct hand in regulating the internet, since they know so much more about it than the rest of us, and can totally be trusted to be entirely impartial and not be swayed by corporate interests or anything. Our cookies await with anticipation the next round of thrilling legislation. Perhaps a government built browser will be mandated, they whisper among themselves in excitement.

Hey somebody actually read this far

Seriously? I'm impressed. You had the staying power to read through all that. Very well. The treasure is buried at 4723 Maple Valley Road. You take highway 201 south for 15 minutes. You take a left, a left...