In which I criticise myself, try to be funny, and observe something troubling in a motorway services.
I'm occasionally inspired by the story of the development of the PC game Half-Life. Legend has it that Valve had almost completed the game when they decided it wasn't very good, so threw out most of it and started over. The result was one of the best first person shooters the videogame world has ever seen.
The point I usually take from that is that it takes a lot to do something so drastic, but it can be worth it. I wrote an article about MudRunner a while back and although I was satisfied with it at the time I've since decided it wasn't very good (I sent it off to a games site and they declined it, which should have been my first clue) and so I've rewritten it.
I've literally chucked out the entirety of the original text. It was quite satisfying. The new article follows the original a little, but I've made it more critical and improved the overall flow. It may not have made it spectacular, but I'm a lot happier with it. You can read it here if you're interested: How to enjoy Spintires: MudRunner.
Marketing opportunities for rappers
There seems to be some very obvious branding potential for some famous rappers to cash in on. Surely I'm not the first person to suggest these?
- Coolio's Coulis
- Ice T's Iced Tea ("so good I named myself after it")
- Ice Cube's Icecubes ("stay cool with Ice")
- Eminem's M&Ms (obviously)
- Drake's Brakes ("full brake service in under an hour")
- Dr. Dre's Aspirin ("I'm not actually a doctor but these are good")
- Busta Rhymes Nursery Rhymes ("a mother-****ing wolf!")
Also, presumably the only reason Bill Gates doesn't get into fencing is because he's already got enough money. Fair enough, Bill.
What I saw recently in a motorway services
I was recently threading my way through the ridiculous sales bombardment that is trying to find a toilet in a motorway service area when I saw a mop and bucket leaning against a wall. Against all sanity it was labelled 'Spill Response Kit'.
Presumably this sort of thing will become more widespread, so rather than rail against it I've decided instead to offer some helpful suggestions, if you would also like to overly name well known objects that are already called something.
In fact, let's have a mini quiz! See if you can guess what these are (answers below).
- Bodily Waste Extraction Site
- Sleep Encouragement Platform
- Multipurpose Dirt Removal Container
- Vehicle Housing Unit
- Personal Elevation Enhancer
- Multi Human Containment Edifice
- Alcohol Refuelling Station
Which of course are:
- Pub (that one has a satisfying acronym, at least)
If you have any other suggestions, pop them on a postcard and send them in.